Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Randomize
