found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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