My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
