Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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