I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Randomize
