Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
