MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
