Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
