Nicole vs. Life
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
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