its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize