She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
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