Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
There's always time for handjobs
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
