is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
