those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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