when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize