bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
