I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize
