I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
