is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
