her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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