fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Randomize
