We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
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