so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
This is classic penis vs brain.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
