Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
