My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Randomize
