My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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