I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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