i barfeds in our rink
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
