doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I'm just crazy horny about you
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Randomize
