why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
