Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
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