Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I wish i was in the wii world.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
