opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
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