Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize