Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Randomize
