I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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