We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize