i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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