Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Randomize
