i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Ketchup is God's man juice
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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