I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
