He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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