You can't special order awesome
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
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