i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Randomize
