that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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