So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Randomize
