i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
