Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
