So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Randomize
