I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
