My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Randomize
