Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
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