It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
