that's an acceptable place to lick
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
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