Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
