And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
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