yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
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