I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
