you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
I think I just sharted jello shots
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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